I decided to take February as an intensive meditation month. One of my guides offered to teach me nightly. Now, one of the things you need to understand is that when you do this type of internal/universal work, there are always changes. Some are upsets that send you reeling and then there’s the breakthrough.
The reeling part is never fun as it usually includes a lot of heavy emotion and a huge shift of some sort. It’s that shift of emotions and energy that usually brings out the epiphany.
I’m going to give you the short version, since unless you’re metaphysically minded, it won’t make much sense even if I did give you the long version… and who wants the long version online anyway?
I’ve always been a creator of stories. I was creating them before I learned to write. But it wasn’t until 2012 that I had enough faith in myself to start thinking of myself as an author and thinking I could, with work, become a best-selling author someday. (This was back when being a best-selling author meant something. Now, with new Amazon algorithms that are not necessarily based on sales, not to mention the multi-author boxed set 99c sales, and the so-called authors who are stealing bits and pieces from other authors work and then mashing it up into books that ride the high of KU, it really means nothing at all anymore.)
In August 2013, two things happened. First, my novel As Natural as Breathing came out. It was on bestseller lists on Amazon for over 2 months. It even got up to #4. Second, I found the teachings of Neville Goddard. I had been studying metaphysics in one way or another since 1998 and the Law of Attraction since 2006. Neville’s works opened my mind to just how simple it is to create one’s reality. I had some amazing things happen in those first few months of reading his works.
I had a goal that wasn’t coming to fruition and something I heard once hit me. “If your goal isn’t big enough to terrify you, perhaps it’s not big enough to go for.” So on 7 December, 2013, I took that goal and dumped it, recreating it in the true goal I wanted but hadn’t believed I could have.
So I was working toward 2 huge goals: best-selling author and this life goal. The best-selling author vibration somewhat continued for 6 months while I put my vibration toward the life goal. But then something happened—and I didn’t realize what it was until this last month. (Remember epiphany)
You see, you can’t go after two goals that lead in two different directions. For example: If you lived in Ohio and you wanted to live in either New York or California, but you couldn’t choose one or the other so you focused on both. And then wondered why you were still in Ohio several years later.
The messy emotion came from what pushed me to decide I am not publishing anything else at this time. It was a difficult decision to make and while I felt it was right, I wasn’t sure why. Plus I’ve put a lot of work into my writing and publishing. Walking away was a difficult thought. Until the emotion had settled and I had the epiphany.
How could I reach either my life goal or my best-selling author goal when they were going in different directions? And my life-goal is so incredibly amazing, so important, so wonderful… I had to laugh at myself when I realized I had been blocking it by continuing to go after my author goals as well.
Nothing like giving only 50% of your vibration to your goals. Things don’t work well that way.
So, as of today, all books on my publication schedule are off it. My focus is my life goal. I will continue to write, because I AM a writer. But I won’t be marketing. And I won’t be giving my energy to sales. If the right book feels right to be released at the time, I might do it, but I don’t currently have plans to do so. (Though admittedly there are a few series I would like to get finished and out there, they are not my top priority anymore.)
All my energy is focused on my life goal, the one I allowed myself to create on 7 Dec 2013. When that one comes into my reality, who knows? I may focus on authorship again. Or I may not. Though if I do it won’t be the way I’ve done it over the last 7 years.
So, this is me ‘signing off’ for now. For my fellow authors, may you reach your goals. For my wonderful readers, I hope you will continue to read my books you already own.
I’m headed toward a better life. A better way of living. A better love.
May you gain the reality you seek.