BDSM 101: What is #BDSM? #BDSM101

Hello and welcome to BDSM 101

bdsmThe acts played out within the BDSM culture have been around for centuries. The acronym BDSM has floated around for decades, mostly only known to a few wonderful leathermen and slowly moved into the pansexual culture. Then the internet popped up and more heard about it. And then… the horror of all horrors befell us. 50 Shades came out and suddenly, all people knew about BDSM was what those books said. And for the record? EL James admits she did about 30 minutes of research into BDSM. 30 minutes. She’d never been in an adult toy store, never read about scenes, never experienced the smack of a paddle. Her book was a romance built around a psychologically wounded and sexually abused little boy who never quite grew up.

I remember a couple years after that book became available talking to others in the lifestyle. The line drawn was black and white. Those who had never scened and considered themselves kinky online thought 50 shades was hot. Those of us who had scened at least once went “Where’s the heat? That’s the most boring book on record. Negative -10 on the hotness scale.” (Once you start into the fun of BDSM there’s just no way to stop if its for you. Heh, I feel like appropriating the Pringles jingle – once you’ve been popped, you can’t stop.) –

Unfortunately, most people only know BDSM through erotic literature, which goes from the knowledgeable-but-fantasized to the what-the-hell-this-is-abuse novellas. Or they read something online and think “Oh, so that’s what BDSM is.” I have news for you:

BDSM cannot be categorized

You heard me. BDSM cannot be categorized. Why not? Because it covers such a wide range of topics, activities, and lifestyles. If you try to stick it in a box and say BDSM IS_____ you’ve just fucked over 99% of the stuff that doesn’t fit in that box.

I am not an expert. Technically NOBODY IS. A person could be an expert in a few areas within BDSM, but nobody is an expert over the whole acronym.

However, I’ve been in this wild and crazy world of BDSM since 2000 so I do know a few things. Every week I will be doing a BDSM 101 post. Some will be long, some will be short, but I’m going to tell you what I know. Again -I AM NOT an expert. But I do know a lot about what I call “my version of BDSM” because guess what? Everyone’s version is just a bit different. If a person is more into pain than play, they will focus on S&M. If a person is into bondage, they will focus on that. And there’s the subsection of discipline people who say DD is not BDSM – I have to disagree,  but again, that is MY version of BDSM, not theirs.

BDSM 101

So I hope you enjoy my posts. They will hopefully be informative. I’m going to go over terms, concepts, and different types of play. I will also be doing a major post on D/s outside BDSM as opposed to within it. I hate that I have to make that differentiation because to me there isn’t one. However I’ve come to believe that if I don’t make that differentiation, people won’t get it.

If you disagree with my assessment, that’s fine too. Again, these posts are from my POV – And I’m a submissive who is into pain, pleasure, and submission. The order depends on where my hormones are at.

They say if you’re going to tell someone why they should trust your insight that you need to give them your deets. Next week: My BDSM journey

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