Today is a very special birthday. Kat from Anastasia Vitsky’s series Kat & Natalie series is having a birthday bash. (Links below)

She asked us to share some birthday wishes and here is my letter to the birthday girl.

Dear Kat,

Happy Birthday! Another year down…and hopefully the next year will be the best of your life so far. I thought on this wonderfully celebratory day of all days, I would help you – one sub to another – in dealing with your dominant. Here are a few pointers that might help:

• When Nat finds you eating her ice cream, explain you did it because you were looking out for her health. Then give her a piece of celery… then run like crazy because it can double as a unique spanking instrument too.
• While she is spanking you, do a Howard Cosell impression and provide a play-by-play account of what is being done to you. Again, then run like crazy while laughing like a loon.
• When she demands that you look her in the eyes, do it cross-eyed just to be unique. 
• If Nat elects to embarrass the hell out of you in public – you know like making you wear a costume you wouldn’t be seen dead in (*cough* think parties), stick your fingers in your ears and say “Neener, neener, neener, I can’t hear you!”
• Stick an Alka-Seltzer tablet in your mouth at the beginning of a spanking. Work up some saliva to get it fizzy, then scream. Once again, once you are free – RUN!
• If Nat has you confined while she is paddling your backside and tells you to count, inform her you can’t do it unless you can use your fingers and toes.
• Hold up a scorecard after each blow delivered. I mean, you want her to know she is doing well, right?
• After a particularly hard blow, pretend to pass out. When she checks to see if you’re OK, jump up and yell “Gotcha!” Err, do I need to add then run?
• Buy a clapper system and put them in all the electrical sockets. When she spanks you it will be a light show. (Spank on! Spank off!)
• Responding with “Yes, All Wise, All Knowing Grand Imperial Weenie” might find you without the ability to sit down for days… I would suggest against it.
• Checking Nat’s head for the 666 symbol after a harsh punishment will only get you more of the same, or worse.
• Singing the chorus of “Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better” under your breath during a spanking is considered foolhardy.
• Asking “Is that as HARD as you can hit??” is considered a cry for help.

Once again, a very happy birthday… hmm, I wonder how many spankings you will get this year because we both know birthday spankings start with how old you are and then just keep adding up. 

Between you and me? I think dominants can’t count – one of the reasons they make us do it…but I wouldn’t say that either if I were you 😉

Happy B-day!