Today is a very special birthday. Kat from Anastasia Vitsky’s series Kat & Natalie series is having a birthday bash. (Links below)
She asked us to share some birthday wishes and here is my letter to the birthday girl.
Dear Kat,
Happy Birthday! Another year down…and hopefully the next year will be the best of your life so far. I thought on this wonderfully celebratory day of all days, I would help you – one sub to another – in dealing with your dominant. Here are a few pointers that might help:
- When Nat finds you eating her ice cream, explain you did it because you were looking out for her health. Then give her a piece of celery… then run like crazy because it can double as a unique spanking instrument too.
- While she is spanking you, do a Howard Cosell impression and provide a play-by-play account of what is being done to you. Again, then run like crazy while laughing like a loon.
- When she demands that you look her in the eyes, do it cross-eyed just to be unique.
- If Nat elects to embarrass the hell out of you in public – you know like making you wear a costume you wouldn’t be seen dead in (*cough* think parties), stick your fingers in your ears and say “Neener, neener, neener, I can’t hear you!”
- Stick an Alka-Seltzer tablet in your mouth at the beginning of a spanking. Work up some saliva to get it fizzy, then scream. Once again, once you are free – RUN!
- If Nat has you confined while she is paddling your backside and tells you to count, inform her you can’t do it unless you can use your fingers and toes.
- Hold up a scorecard after each blow delivered. I mean, you want her to know she is doing well, right?
- After a particularly hard blow, pretend to pass out. When she checks to see if you’re OK, jump up and yell “Gotcha!” Err, do I need to add then run?
- Buy a clapper system and put them in all the electrical sockets. When she spanks you it will be a light show. (Spank on! Spank off!)
- Responding with “Yes, All Wise, All Knowing Grand Imperial Weenie” might find you without the ability to sit down for days… I would suggest against it.
- Checking Nat’s head for the 666 symbol after a harsh punishment will only get you more of the same, or worse.
- Singing the chorus of “Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better” under your breath during a spanking is considered foolhardy.
- Asking “Is that as HARD as you can hit??” is considered a cry for help.
Once again, a very happy birthday… hmm, I wonder how many spankings you will get this year because we both know birthday spankings start with how old you are and then just keep adding up.
Between you and me? I think dominants can’t count – one of the reasons they make us do it…but I wouldn’t say that either if I were you 😉
Happy B-day!
18 thoughts on “Happy Birthday, Kat!”
LOL!! If poor Kat follows this advice, she won't be able to sit for days to come. Maybe months. 🙂 Thank you for a hysterical birthday letter and for your sweet friendship.
*snicker*
Haha, you totally made me laugh with the clapper. Where do you come up with these things?
I've always thought my brain should come with a warning sticker… :)<br /><br />I just have this visual of every time Nat spanks Kat of the lights going on and off… hee hee
LOL, I love the cross eyed one and the Alka-Seltzer tablet 😀 Oh, the tablet will be fun. This is hilarious!
*giggles* Thanks Pao:)
Hilarious! Great job! I particularly liked the Alka Seltzer tablet too!
Thanks Celeste 😀
oh lol Thianna. That was great. Thanks for the laughs. You even got a snort out of me. Yes, and then run. Fortunately for me, I'm small and agile and that helps in my little house- Master can't even begin to move as fast as me through the rooms, hallway 😀
*snicker* You should see my "BDSM After 65" List
LOL, absolutely brilliant! I cracked up over the Howard Cosell AND the score card AND the Alka Seltzer. Excuse me while I go put myself back together.
*giggles* I can just hear it in Howard's voice, can't you?
Soooooo funny, Thianna!<br />I love the score cards and the clapper!<br />Hehe, that was awesome!
Thanks katherine:)<br /><br />Start the day with a joke and it sets the day off right:)
That was hilarious Thianna! I loved the looking croos eyed 🙂
Thanks Constance:)
ROFLMBO Thianna! I was trying to figure out which was my favorite but they are all so fun! Really do hope Kat realizes you are joking or that she can run faster than Nat! ;)<br /><br />Blessings,<br />Cat
Thanks!<br /><br />And yes, I hope Kat realizes these are tongue in cheek…unless you can really outsmart your top 😉 Then again, what kind of top worth having would be one you can outsmart?