Lies, Lying, and Liars – How do I look?

Uplifting post, huh?

Okay, so I hate lies. I despise telling them and I hate having someone lie to me. Some people say there are circumstances where it is good to lie – such as in the case where your best friend shows up in her brand new $500 dress that looks DREADFUL on her, poses and asks, “how do I look?”

I’m torn on that concept. Isn’t there a good way to tell the truth to where it doesn’t hurt her feelings? I don’t want to lie to her and say “OMG, you look amazing!” when in fact, she looks like shit in the dress. But then, again, do I have any right to judge her dress? If she thinks she looks good in it, my opinion of it really should have no merit whatsoever.

So why did she ask in the first place?

Why did this topic come up anyway? I entered a giveaway a few days ago and know for a fact that I won. I was there. I saw & heard my number get drawn. Suddenly the person doing the giveaway claimed there was a mistake… my number got thrown back into the bag and low and behold a new number was chosen and guess what? The winner was the person’s good friend. (If she wanted her friend to win, why did she even have a giveaway in the first place? Just give her the damned thing.)

That was a fucking lie. Blatant, fucking lie. I’m letting it go because seriously I have more things to concentrate on that her, but it brings to mind this concept of lying.

Is there ever a ‘good reason’ to lie?

I still say there isn’t. We all do it, but then again, that does not make it right.

There is no clear cut answer on this. Some will feel some lies are better than others. Some will feel there is no reason to lie – but they are also the people others don’t really like to be around. And then there are those who lie so much they couldn’t tell if the truth smacked them in the face.

And then there is my mother who loves to foist her version of reality on everyone she meets. Her version of the truth is not close to anyone else’s and so her ‘truth’ is actually a very harmful thing. Just this last weekend we met at the gym and the first words out of her mouth were “What happened to your hair? It looks awful.”

I was at the fucking gym – who glamorizes themselves to go sweat? But I digress…

I wonder sometimes as a society if we are too adept at lying. It comes so easy to most of us. Far too easy. I lie mostly when it comes to food. Yep. I hate eating for the most part and I rarely try new things unless I know everything that went into them. My lies? Either “Oh, I’m not hungry” or “I’m allergic.” The weird thing about the allergy one is that I am seriously allergic to bananas and kiwi – they can send me into anaphylactic shock. It makes me feel like a fraud when I say the words ‘i am allergic’ when I am not allergic to that item.

So why do I lie? Because it is easier than telling the truth. If I say – “oh, no thank you” to whatever they are trying to get me to eat, whoever they are will either pressure me to eat whatever it is OR if they made it, will take it personally. Lose-lose-situation there.

So I guess my lies are lies of convenience… which are still lies and still make me feel bad.

Gah! I don’t know how people can lie and not feel even the tiniest bit of guilt. It eats at me for days if I lie.

I had a dominant once that would watch me suffer under a lie for days until I asked him to ‘help’ me out of my guilt. Nothing like a hard spanking to make you feel better. Even worse? When he made me go apologize to the person I lied to. *hangs head*

I need to figure out how to be honest without hurting anyone. That’s my challenge. Because I hate lies and I do not want to be a purveyor of lies… even if some people say they are ‘white lies’, lies that supposedly hurt nobody.

White lies still hurt somebody – even if that person is the one telling them.

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