SL2 – Santa, about that gift…? #SantaLetters

Dear Santa,

How was the Caribbean? Was it everything you expected it to be? I personally don’t get the appeal, but then I’m not one for baking out in the sun, either. How’s those rosy cheeks?

Uhh, oh! Well, umm, Santa? When the tales talk about your rosy cheeks, they weren’t actually talking about your *whispers* buttocks, you know.

But at least I now know what NASA was complaining about when they kept shouting warnings about solar flares. Ha ha…

Err, never mind, Forget I said that.

So… given any thought to that gift you and I talked about? You know, cause it’s already mid-February and if that particular gift is to get into my stocking it’s gonna take some time and a lot of thought and some planning and …

What? You don’t need any of that? So, what are you saying? That you can just magic things out of thin air? Whoa! Really? Can I see? I mean, it’s not that I don’t believe you… it’s more the fact I could really use a new car for my book tour this summer and I-

Oh, well, of course not, Santa. I understand. You are only supposed to deliver items one day a year. I wouldn’t want you to bend your integrity.


What? No, I didn’t snort. That was a sniffle. Just a winter cold, you know.

No, don’t pull out the list!

Wow! I’ve moved up the Naughty List a few notches, haven’t I? Oh, now come on! I am not as bad as Bad Penny!

I’m not!

I’m not!

I’m not!

Okay, so maybe I am, but did you have to make it so blatant on the list. Our names are printed in sharpie in HUGE print!

Yeah, okay, so she is at least honest about it. She would be happy to know though that you put a pink ribbon next to our names. That was nice of you. Wait, do I see stockings under her name as gifts? Cute!

Huh! And how did Anastasia Vitsky get on the Good List? Hmmm? She’s the naughtiest elf!

What do you mean that was so last season?

No, no, I’m not complaining. *grumble grumble* Not sure it’s fair though. You’re playing favorites with the elves.

So… ummm, how to get back on a better topic.

Who do you root for during March Madness? Who? Uh, no, I haven’t heard of them. Well, no, Santa, I’m not saying they are a lousy team. I would never say that… even if they were! Though they aren’t. I’m almost positive. How could they be bad with such a unique name as the Rough ‘n Tumble Reindeer? Do they wear antlers while playing?

What? That wasn’t a stupid question. Honest!

So, back to the topic about my gift. “cough”. Any hints of how it will loo-

WHAT? I’m supposed to know exactly what it will look like or it won’t arrive? Well, there’s some fine print right there! Geez! I didn’t know Stockings were such intense business.

Okay, okay, I will calm down. *deep breaths*

*looks hopefully at Santa* Am I still on track for that gift?

2 thoughts on “SL2 – Santa, about that gift…? #SantaLetters”

Comments are closed.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This