This kind of list has been passed on, changed, deleted from and all around converged upon by many, as such there is no author listed. Instead, I will post it as written by a ‘gaggle of subs’.
Things A Good submissive Shouldn’t Do
Sing “Happy Birthday To Me” during wax play and blow out the candle.
During a scene, do a Howard Cosell impression and provide a play-by-play account of what is being done to you.
If your dom/me tells you to “Look me in the eyes,” do it cross-eyed.
If your dom/me decides to do a verbal humiliation scene with you in public, stick your fingers in your ears and say “Neener, neener, neener, I can’t hear you!”
Stick an Alka-Seltzer tablet in your mouth at the beginning of a scene. Work up some saliva to get it fizzy, then call out your safeword.
If you’re trussed up and ordered to count, inform your top you can’t do it unless you can use your fingers and toes.
Hold up a scorecard after each blow delivered.
After a particularly hard blow, pretend to pass out. When your dom/me checks to see if you’re OK, jump up and yell “Gotcha!”
Go in the toybag and superglue the nipple clamps shut.
Attach clappers to all the outlets in the dungeon just before a paddling (Clap on! Clap off!)
“Oh my god, where did you get those, they are gorgeous!!!” is not considered boot worship.
Doing your Beavis and Butthead imitation of “Fire, fire, fire, fire!” during Master’s lecture on fireplay safety is considered rude.
Responding with “Yes, All Wise, All Knowing Grand Imperial Weenie” is not appropriate when Master asks you if you are comfortable during a bondage scene.
Asking to go to the bathroom every five minutes while Master practices his Japanese rope work on you will try his patience, quickly.
Checking Master’s head for the 666 symbol after a harsh punishment will only get you more of the same, or worse.
“I know you are but what am I?” is not the appropriate response when called a raunchy little whore during humiliation play.
“Missed me, missed me, now ya gotta kiss me” is an unacceptable remark when Master’s flogger slips.
When Master pulls out his bullwhip and says he wants to play, he doesn’t mean hide-and-seek
“Oh, and you think I am?” is an unacceptable response to hearing your dominant say he is not pleased.
During a play party is not the time to do your hilarious imitation of Igor and hunch over, moaning “Yes, Master” when ordered to fetch something.
Singing the chorus of “Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better” under your breath during a session is considered foolhardy.
Asking “Is that as HARD as you can hit??” is considered a cry for help amongst submissive suicide prevention workers.
Now, I’m sure Landria would not do any of these offenses, right? Maybe we should check with Nicholas…
Through the Library Door, published by Dragon Realm Publishing.
“Deep within the library there are secrets untold, hidden within the pages of the books it protects. Some say it is old magic, some say it is a curse, but they all say that once a generation, the door will open and the one who enters will live out the story in one of its novels.”
18 yr old Landria expects to spend a dull summer at her aunt and uncle’s house. That is until she stumbles upon a dusty, unused library and finds her way into the pages of an erotic novel. Attacked within moments of entering the story, she is rescued by the hero, Lord Nicholas Waring, who intrigues her more than she wishes. Once she finds herself back home she cannot forget him. When he follows her into her world and they fall in love, will they be forced apart by the words already written or can they rewrite their story?
Where you can get Through the Library Door:
|All Romance eBooks||Barnes and Noble|
|Amazon UK||Amazon ES|
|Amazon DE||Amazon IT|
|Regular Print Paperbacks|
|Large Print Paperbacks|