BDSM in the limelight

How does everyone else feel about BDSM in the limelight?

I have mixed feelings about it. While I think it is great that it can be talked about more openly, so much seems to be missing from the new BDSM’ers.

Of course, it isn’t just the Shades excitement that has caused this problem. No. The problem started five+ years ago. When I first started on the scene, there was a lot more emphasis on respect. As a sub, one of the things I need is to know how to act and what to expect.

Now, either that has been lost, or the areas I have lived for the last five years have sucked at it. There was a time when it was considered an extreme offense if someone outside the scene were to interrupt, but today people talk and laugh and ‘join’ in a scene they are not part of consistently. I don’t know about you, but I cannot get in the right headspace if people are interrupting.

The club I was a member of when I first stuck my toe in the BDSM pool made sure both dominants and submissives knew how to act toward one another at club events. It was a relief to know it was expected to refer to all male doms as Sir and all female dommes as Ma’am. I had my space – I understood it. Now? I feel discombobulated at BDSM events. I don’t know how to act, what to say, or even where to look.

It is quite disconcerting for one such as myself.

I just found out that E! Entertainment has produced a show on the results from the 50 Shades phenomena. Even though I don’t have a TV, I will figure out a way to watch it because I am intrigued to see how the entertainment network treats the subject. Are we kooks? Crazy? Or just the new thing?

And as the ‘new thing’, does that mean that all that was is now lost? If so, then what I need in a relationship and in structure is gone. Well, that is a depressing thought.

I need boundaries. I need security. And the more that people take BDSM and make it a toy? The more the D/s and respect issue seems to get lost.

I am torn about the extreme interest in BDSM. Is it a good thing? A bad thing? Or is it just the proof that what I want and need is now gone?

Yikes. I think I can be classified as ‘old school’.

Maybe I should start collecting cats. Except… I really don’t like cats.

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