Shameless 4


I’m working on a project – haven’t decided on a name for it yet, but I’m considering calling it Shameless. Currently, the term has mixed connotations but it doesn’t have to. However, I’m open to a new title – but it needs to be positive as I believe that what we focus on expands. Basically, I want to stop the shaming that is part of the current human psyche by encouraging everyone to think before they speak or post. We’re better than that.

When you think shaming, you probably think in terms of bullies putting others down. Well, guess what? Even people who would never for a day consider themself a bully shame others. Why? Because that’s what we’ve been taught.

Feel bad? Have someone picking on you? Pick on someone else to feel better. Many times it isn’t even a ‘person’ we put down, but a concept. But guess what? That concept has merit to someone. We might not understand why and sometimes those concepts boggle the mind. Now, I am not referring to hatred, as that’s its own particular brand of shaming and should be stopped at the root. I’m referring to what you might consider ‘little’ things.

What little things?

A person posts a pic of someone dressed what they consider badly and laugh about it – Body/fat shaming

Someone posts online a derogatory remark about men, women, queers or any gender – Gender shaming

A person has never been able to squirt and they see an article that validates what they want to believe and post it, laughing at people who squirt – Sexual shaming

A person is proud of their own sexuality and they laugh at the concept of a girl still being a virgin at the age of 18, saying things like “There’s no way anyone’s still a virgin at that age.” – Sexual shaming

A person makes derogatory remarks on how any 18 year old girl might need to learn what happens on her wedding night just because to them, everyone is sexually super-knowledgeable. They either ignore or have no concept that there are communities and belief systems where being innocent and staying that way is prized, even among the young – Moral shaming

An author pulled her book because she was bullied due to the content. That could be a mixture of Sexual and Moral shaming as well as a host of bullying just for bully sake.

Most of us are better than that. Not all, but most. We just sometimes don’t realize what we’re doing. It’s time to notice what we say and what we do.

Time to be shameless. If you have anything to say, make it positive, joyous, encouraging. If you can’t find anything positive? Don’t say anything at all.

It isn’t something that will change overnight, but imagine a world where instead of shame-ridden social networking and bullying tactics, we encourage one another. That much positive energy is a wave we can all ride to the top.

Be joyous.
Be positive.
Be shameless.


4 thoughts on “Shameless

  • Kelly Dawson

    Love this! As someone who was bullied as a teenager at school, this blog post resonated hugely with me. Everyone knows that bullying is bad. But how many of us have ever considered the harmful effects the “little” things have? I know I certainly haven’t. I’ve made a conscious effort to never “bully” anyone, but I’m sure there’s plenty of people I’ve shamed, inadvertently. This has caused me to think. Thanks.

    • Thianna D Post author

      Thanks, Kelly. And I agree with you. I’ve done my own bit of shaming just because I never thought about it in this context. (Some of the jokes that appear on Facebook are funny…until I looked at them this way).

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