That’s a no #SpankingRound #triggers #anal #punishment #discipline 18


And once again, it’s time for another Spanking Round Table Discussion. Thanks Corinne Alexander for leading it this month.

The discussion today I will admit hit a few of my triggers. When I think anal punishment outside the spanking/whipping realm, two things come to mind – something as innocuous as ginger and something harmful like anal sex.

Now, before you get insulted, let me explain what I mean.

To me, ginger has no negative connotations besides the heat it creates. It has no negative memories, nothing to make it anything except what it is in my books – discipline. In my real life,this kind of kink is not allowed as discipline. To me they need to stay separate, so ginger would never be allowed as discipline and if the guy tried it once, he’d be lucky to still have a dick attached once I came out of sub headspace. Unless we’re talking funishment, and that’s a whole different headspace.

Now, as for anal sex. IF I am reading a book, any book, and I come to a scene where anal sex is used as discipline or a punishment, I will instantly stop reading. 99% of the time I will never finish the book. And yes, this is VERY personal to me. It isn’t hot, it isn’t fun. It’s demoralizing, shaming, and should never be used as discipline. Ever. Not once. Ever.

Why so emphatic? I’ve been anally raped. If my top insisted on anal sex as a way to PUNISH me? The connotation would cross over to that rape and I would hate him, hate myself, and it would not turn out well. So I cannot read about it. And it actually pisses me off when I come across a scene like that in what would ordinarily be a good book. I’ve actually crossed authors off my list of ‘to-read’ just because they had anal sex punishments.

Admittedly, if the heroine likes anal sex and that has been specified, it doesn’t have the same kind of trigger because I know she already likes it. But when its been made clear that the heroine or hero is either an anal virgin or hates anal sex and the hero insists on anal as a punishment? INSTANT turn off.

The only way I can handle anal sex is in a loving scene or in reality. Not as discipline or punishment.

To me, discipline is all mental. It’s getting into that space where I truly access what I’m feeling and he gets me past it. As such, I will forever stay away from 99% of anal sex scenes used as punishment. And if the description of the book stresses it in the blurb (not the warning, but the blurb) I know it’s a major thing within it and will just not buy. I know some like it and I’m all for people writing/reading what they enjoy – just not me.

On the flip side of that, the Marquis de Sade who was a libertine of the highest order I can read without a problem. Mostly because he doesn’t describe. And partly because I find him funny. He doesn’t take anything seriously and is also blunt about why his characters do what they do.


18 thoughts on “That’s a no #SpankingRound #triggers #anal #punishment #discipline

  • Sheri Savill

    I have no words for this post that won't sound stupid, or just come out the wrong way or something, that's my own paranoia, is all. So, please just know that I read it very carefully, every word, and I believe I understand you. Thank you for the honesty.

  • Corinne Alexander

    Thank you for sharing this very personal story. It's an important factor to keep in mind when writing. And it's especially important to remember to put it in the disclaimers in the blurb. It's the reason I couldn't read any books in this genre (which is my favorite genre) for the majority of this year. It's the tricky thing about this genre. What we write is bound to be a

    • Thianna D

      It&#39;s difficult because for the person writing it, they don&#39;t see how it might affect someone else. I can read some stuff that would shock/horrify someone else and it won&#39;t bother me, but this does. We all have our stuff, some of it that probably makes no sense to someone else, that can trigger some pretty hefty emotions.<br /><br />LIke having someone override the word &quot;no&quot;.

  • Aubrey Cara

    This is a perfect example of why I&#39;m so sad that warning labels or advisories have been boiled down to &quot;adult content&quot;. I have a friend that does not read dubious consent, rape in memory sequence, etc. for the same reasons you mentioned. <br /><br />I think reading and enjoying erotica is a very personal experience. It can make someone feel sexual liberated in a way they&#39;d never

  • Rayanna Jamison

    As soon as I got past your first paragraph, I thought oh crap, I know what she&#39;s going to say next, but that didn&#39;t make it any easier to read. I&#39;m very sorry that happened to you, and thank you for sharing your viewpoint and the reasons behind it. <br /><br />I&#39;m thinking about stories Ive read and it seems to me there are so many that walk a fine line between anal sex as actual

    • Thianna D

      Interesting question – you know the whole sex after punishment in reality makes me go &quot;What?&quot; Because after discipline the last thing I want is sex of any sort. <br /><br />But in books, anal sex after punishment doesn&#39;t bother me as long as the heroine&#39;s up for it – and usually she is. But if she says &#39;no&#39; and he still says something akin to &quot;You&#39;ve been a bad

  • Joelle Casteel

    Is it bad that my first thought is that I&#39;m unlikely to write an anal scene that you wouldn&#39;t read? 😀 But yes, I totally empathize with the traumatic connection for you and find it intriguing, your comments on ginger. Funny thing for me is that I find ginger- if taken IRL- as negatively as you do anal intercourse as discipline or punishment. To me, I see the rectum as some pretty fragile

    • Thianna D

      I&#39;m good with ginger – it turns me on, especially the discomfort – I have a few food fetishes that focus on hot oils like ginger, peppermint, cinnamon. But unnatural substances like bengay? Nuh-uh. <br /><br />That&#39;s one of the things I like about fetishes &amp; kink – what works for one will definitely be a no for another.

    • Joelle Casteel

      Yeah, said that way, I can see it a bit… unnatural substances. When Shaman was injured, before we knew it was a torn Achilles tendon and He had a blood clot close to the injury- I went out to get a massage oil to use on His legs… found an invigorating variety by NOW I think the company is. We&#39;ve found it also makes a wonderful lube. Smells like citrus and vanilla

  • Adaline Raine

    I&#39;m not sure how to respond other than thank you for sharing about something personal that happened to you. It&#39;s a strange line in some stories when you know the hero/heroine like anal or being played back there and then the hero pushes… back door objects are a very big turn on but anal sex isn&#39;t. Powerful post, Thianna.

  • Maren Smith

    Thank you so much for such an open, blunt and deeply personal blog post! Boy, that came out sounding like a canned response, but I just can&#39;t think how to change it and keep the sincerity of my response to reading this. I can see your point of view. I can understand, having read this, why you would react to reading an anal punishment scene in a fantasy story by never wanting to read another

  • Renee Rose

    I&quot;m so sorry for your rape and all the trauma associated with it. I can see how anal punishment scenes would definitely be a trigger. ((hugs)))

  • Megan Michaels

    God this post was upsetting. I&#39;m so sorry. And I&#39;m sure I speak for everyone–we write this to turn people&#39;s cranks and excite them–forgetting that it can also be a trigger and bring negative feelings. I&#39;m sorry for that—it is not my intention and I&#39;m sure not the intention of others. I&#39;m sure I&quot;m on the crossed off list or truly hope I am, I would not want to

  • katherinedeane

    Thianna, I&#39;ve replied before on one of your other posts how I feel about that asshole. 🙁 Sorry<br /><br />And I totally 100000000% agree with what you are saying about the mental side of punishments. For me, punishments are emotional and mental.. <br /><br />It&#39;s so hard to explain how a spanking can turn me on so much, but how a punishment spanking upsets me. It&#39;s the emotions

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