Feminism & Spanking
You know. When I signed up for this round table on Feminism and Spanking, I was all “Cool! I have to get involved with this.” And then I sat down to write, expecting inspiration to hit.
And filed my nails…
And listened to music…
And read a book…
Until I finally had to accept this wasn’t coming as easily as I expected.
I even wrote a post that I hated and set it to bed on Wednesday night, not liking the post and thinking it sounded stupid. Then, bright and early (Too bright and early) Thursday morning a new thought came to me. Now, several hours later, let me see if I can get it down.
What Feminism Robbed, Spanking Can Repay
What do I mean by that? I was raised to think every female has three parts to her:
*The Little Girl (TLG)
*The Lady (TL)
*The Woman (TW)
*The Lady (TL)
*The Woman (TW)
So, supposedly TLG + TL + TW = Whole Female
Over time, I have come to realize there was a major part missing from that equation. I added The Sex Kitten (TSK) and now TLG + TL + TW + TSK sounds a lot more complete to me. If we work with all four sides of us, we can get into perfect alignment with the person we are. And if we do that, there is joy, there is safety, there is security, there is adventure, there is femininity, and there is peace.
There is a huge problem, though.
I can only speak from a Western POV, but in the US, what is expected of women is a rather dire equation: First off, you must leave The Little Girl behind once you ‘grow up’. And to make a difference in this world, drop The Lady too because being polite and expecting respect won’t get you anywhere. And The Sex Kitten? They prefer not to even notice her, or to call her names like ‘cunt’ and ‘slut’, thus damaging her belief in herself. After all, it is The Woman who goes out, conquers, battles men, becomes LIKE a man, and lives up to the Feminist Ideal.
I understand that the Women’s Movement had some good points. We do deserve the right to vote. We do deserve equal pay for equal job. We do deserve the right to work anywhere we damn well want. But that is only 1/4 of who we are. So where does that leave the rest of us?
The Little Girl is long forgot. She might try to gain our attention from time to time, either by trying to have fun; or, when we are particularly dense, by throwing a bloody-ass fit. Quite honestly, she doesn’t care how she gets our attention, as long as she gets it. (Mine loves to put in jokes a 12 year old would make.)
The Lady has forgotten what it means to be a lady. Men are growled at when their gentleman dares to open a door for us. We sit slovenly, dress like men, and yes, we even drink, smoke, and swear like them too. She has stopped reminding us to cross our ankles, sit correctly at the dinner table, and worst of all, she has stopped reminding us to expect to be treated like a lady because Feminism has turned that into a ‘put-down’.
The Sex Kitten may have never even gotten the chance in the first place. So many conflicting ideas about sex abound. I am not talking about the teenagers who have sex just because they can – that is not taking control of your sexuality. The Sex Kitten understands all parts and sees sex as a part of herself, investigates what might interest her, tosses out what she does not like, and embraces the rest with a passion. Only problem is? The Sex Kitten became a slut. No, I am not talking literally. How often do we hear people sneer at a woman who is sexily dressed and when she ‘gets ahead’ they make the comment that she used sex to get her there. The Sex Kitten has most likely hid her head; in some women so badly that these ladies have NEVER had an orgasm. That whole concept horrifies me. Life without an orgasm daily just cannot be a life worth living. There is of course, the other side of The Sex Kitten who has decided she will be noticed no matter what, and she takes the destructive road with her sexuality.
And then we have The Woman. She is the epitome of Feminism. She can leap tall buildings in a single bound while birthing 2.4 children, cooking dinner, becoming president of the country, and helping orphans in some foreign country because of course, she is invincible. Right? Wrong! Without the other three to help her, she is tired, stressed, non-orgasmic, unhealthy, angry, and spending her life trying to be equal to a man.
I hate the whole concept of equality when it comes to that. I am not equal to anyone. I am myself. If there are two people in a relationship, for it to work, they both need to be equally determined that it will work, but that, to me, is where equality ends.
Have you ever observed women in the workplace? The ‘bosses’? I have worked for both men and women and overall, I would vote to work for a man a million times before I had to work for a woman again. Why? For one simple reason. Women were not raised to be boss.
As much as that might grind against the politically correct, it is true. Of all the women bosses I had, only one was decent. The others? Were bitches, totally and utterly impossible to work for. Now, one could argue that is the problem of the society in which we are raised. My response would be, is it? Or is there an intrinsic difference between men and women that we do not want to admit to?
Looking back, I look at them and see something different. They were The Woman. Only. The work was all they cared about, working sixteen-hour days, bossing everyone around, unwilling to trust anyone because they figured if they didn’t do it, it wouldn’t get done right.
They needed to get back in touch with The Little Girl, The Lady, and The Sex Kitten.
So, how do we do that? Distancing ourselves from Feminism doesn’t quite seem right, because I think we would all still agree there are things we should have the right to. But we need a way to bring all four of the parts that make us together. And how do we do that?
Now, before you laugh, hear me out. Being spanked is a unique event. For anyone who has been spanked as an adult, it brings in a whole bunch of emotions that up until that time you might have not realized you had.
So, how does a Spanking bring back The Little Girl?
Example: You lied to your partner. It was just a white lie, it didn’t mean anything, right? Except for the fact you feel guilty as hell. You and your partner have discussed and discussed this kind of thing into infinity and finally decide you’ll try discipline. You scoff a bit at the over-the-knee spanking when you are told to bend over their knee, and as you are told to unbutton your slacks and remove them or to lift up your skirt, you suddenly begin to feel less like an adult and more like the little kid who was caught in a lie. You beg for leniency, you might cry to try and get out of it. You definitely cry as those smacks rain hard down upon your ass. But then something marvelously amazing happens. The guilt within you bursts and you stop crying from the pain and you begin to cry out your emotion. The spanking stops, but your tears continue. As your crying slows, you realize the guilt is gone and that for some strange reason, you feel safe and peaceful. Your partner lifts you up, sits you on their lap and holds you tight, letting you feel their love and warmth. In that moment, The Little Girl smiles and curls up into the loving arms that hold her. In that moment, she is free and hopefully you embrace her and keep her free. If not, she has now found a great way to break free and you may find yourself getting an OTK spanking more often than not.
So, how does a Spanking bring back The Lady?
Example: You’ve been spanked and you don’t necessarily understand why you are grinning like a loon as an hour later you are out having dinner with friends and every time you move, you are physically reminded of what happened. You feel closer to your partner than you have in a long time. When he opens a door for you, instead of being miffed, The Lady welcomes it, thanks him, and finds a great satisfaction in being treated so well. She begins to recognize that it is far easier to bait her partner with honey than it is to fight him. The Lady also notices that her man’s gentleman makes more appearances, making her feel cared for, loved, and he responds to that part of her. As she expects to be treated with respect, she will find he does so automatically.
So, how does a Spanking bring back The Sex Kitten?
Does it need to be said? There is a unique energy exchange that happens in a consensual spanking. If it hurt like hell, or if it was an erotic spanking, The Sex Kitten begins to notice how her companion reacts to having spanked her. A spanking can make you feel very sexy, even as your ass is blazing a fire-engine red. When you begin to feel sexy, you begin to act sexy, dress sexy, and continually send out sexual signals to your partner.
So, now what? Well, you have now brought back the three parts of you that were missing. And as you have added spanking as an activity you do often, they stick around and The Woman begins to notice some changes. Less stress, more smiling, more laughter, more delegating at work, and probably a MUCH better sex life. Soon, she begins to listen to her other parts and finds that The Little Girl has some great creative ideas that work well even in her work life and that letting The Lady out has actually built better relations with those around her as well as helped her to feel better about herself. And as far as The Sex Kitten? Raaaaawwwwrrrrrrr!
Let’s revisit. How can spanking balance out what Feminism robbed from us? By realigning the four parts of us, sections of each of us that should be listened to, allowed out to play, and given voice.
So next time you are feeling off, ask yourself – Are the four parts of me aligned? Or is one part needing some attention? If so? Ask for a spanking (it is up to you how you ask for it) and let that part free.
Welcome back to this world The Little Girl, The Lady, The Woman, and The Sex Kitten. May you forever wave your flag…and if it faulters? Just remember, a Spanking does wonders. *wink*
Now, go on and check out more posts on Feminism and Spanking…