The Brat Conundrum, or Die, Brat, Die! 10

I am going to discuss an off-misunderstood part of the BDSM world. The Brat.

New books love to extol the virtues of the Brat. And, unfortunately, so does real life. It is vastly true that the Brat gets more attention. The Brat gets more play partners. The Brat is more likely to get his/her collar faster.

My main intent here is to discuss the amount of brats we find in BDSM literature but knowing me, I will probably go off on another tangent. Sometimes, a brat is misnamed. Just because a sub is intelligent does not make him/her bratty. The Brat does their bratty behavior on purpose. They want attention or punishment or… whatever the Brat is looking for.

All these male dominant characters who claim to want a submissive partner fall for the Brat. Seriously? Every fucking time? True, a sub can have bratty moments. We all do. That does not make us the Brat. And yet more and more BDSM stories have the strong dominant male falling for the ‘i’m going to do what I want except for the times you force me to submit’ Brat.

If a submissive only submits to his will when he forces her, that IS NOT SUBMISSION, people. At most, s/he is a bottom. Or S/He is not the right top for this particular sub.

Yes. Submissives are people. Yes. We make mistakes. But over all we actually want to please/submit to our One. It is a mental thing, the way we are made.

True, the sex is the cream cheese frosting covered in gooey dark chocolate glaze that is drizzled over the top (or would that be the bottom? *grins*).

I actually realize that most people don’t even really understand what Submissive or Dominant means. Which is a shame. Modern-day/50 Shades-esque BDSM has screwed up the meaning a lot. Think of it this way. Submissive and Dominant are all about the mental side. Top and Bottom are all about the physical side.

So with so many ‘subs’ acting the Brat and so many ‘doms’ falling for them… where the fuck is the respect?

But I will lay off that argument as it is one I continue to bring up and everyone just stares at me blankly with the question of “respect?” painted all over their faces.

But back to the Brat. There are Brats in BDSM. Of course there are. There is a little bit of everything in the BDSM world. But they are not the one and only submissive out there. They are just a small percentage. But if you took BDSM fiction into account, you would think they were 90% of all submissives.

Of course, now that I think about it, if we took BDSM fiction as fact, we would also believe that all dominant males were well built, highly intelligent, wealthy and dominant in and out of the bedroom.

*Laughs myself silly* Only in fiction.

Okay, ya know, I feel better now. Ignore my rant about Brats. Hell, if all dominant males can be perfect in fiction, I guess all female subs can be brats. A bit incongruous,  but there you go.

I’m gonna go eat a cookie… and laugh some more.

photo credit: BaileyRaeWeaver via photopin cc

10 thoughts on “The Brat Conundrum, or Die, Brat, Die!

  • Southern Sir

    The reality between erotica and real life is just is fiction and the other reality. If you look at porn in BDSM again the images and movies depict something that is not a true snapshot of what the lifestyle is truly about. While I do like a bit of sassiness; as it does add a touch of fun, what it comes down to respect and being able to have a healthy way of communicating with one

  • Claire Colinsgrove, aka 1950s Wife

    If&#39;n ya don&#39;t like us Brats, I&#39;m not gonna share my super-soaker!<br /><br />Interesting article, but I&#39;m not sure I see what&#39;s wrong with using the term Brat to describe oneself. I see the term as synonymous with being high-spirited and having a strong sense of humor and fun. Why is that wrong? I&#39;ve always been respectful with the Tops I&#39;ve played the brat with

    • Thianna D

      I think it comes down to labels. It is the one issue we as humans have. What means one thing to one person means something completely different to another.<br /><br />To me a brat is a non-respectful person. They go out of their way to flout their non-submissive behavior while still calling themself a sub. Do they have every right to do that? Yes. <br /><br />Do I have to like it? No. LOL Plus,

  • Claire Colinsgrove, aka 1950s Wife

    Having used the term &quot;adult brat&quot; as a way to describe my spank-kink orientation since 1996, it&#39;s upsetting to see the label used as shorthand for &quot;non-respectful person.&quot; To me, a &quot;non-respectful person&quot; is just that: &quot;a non-respectful person,&quot; whatever his or her take on the spank/BDSM scene may be. I&#39;ve known plenty of Brats over the years and

    • Thianna D

      Absolutely:) And I meant no disrespect. Our definitions for the term brat are so hugely different I can see how mine would be upsetting to you.<br /><br />Plus, I may hate the &#39;term&#39;, but I will fight for anyone&#39;s right to call themself a brat… whatever that means to them.

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