Have you ever noticed that the first taste is sometimes the best? I don’t eat it very often, but have a rather intense love for Jif creamy Peanut Butter. It’s seriously good stuff. But the best bite is when I first take out a new bottle and tear off the protective seal. The wonderful scent fills my mind and the first taste? OMG Directly from a spoon!
But the first taste isn’t always better.
Take sex for example. It may sound fun to have sex with a virgin, but guess what? It’s not. There is a lot of fumbling on both sides as the more experienced individual has to ‘tone down their game’, not to mention just the discomfort of having sex with someone and not wanting to crush them when they look up with wide eyes and ask “Wasn’t that amazing?” and all you want to do is get out your vibrator and get an orgasm out of it.
Of course, that does not mean that more experience makes one a better lover. Case in point – my ‘first’ lover was a guy who fucked like a jackrabbit. That wouldn’t have been so bad, but there I was thinking, Is he actually in? I can’t feel him! And afterward, I went home thinking I’ve waited for that? So not worth it! And he was a self-proclaimed Dom. I almost cried thinking if that was what sex was, I would just do without. It wasn’t unpleasant, but it wasn’t pleasurable either. I remember looking at the clock thinking, isn’t it over yet? I wish I had a book to read.
And yet, I have found that the ‘first’ sexual experience with a partner is rather telling. It doesn’t necessarily have to be mind blowing, but in that first time, it is pretty clear if he turns me on and if we are compatible in bed.
So while that first taste might not be the best sex we ever have, it will hold fond memories if I stay with the guy for awhile. On the other hand, if it is like mr jackrabbit, I will always remember it as a disappointment.
That makes sex rather super charged when you think about it. Trying to put your best moves in, the right touches felt, the right words spoken. Now, if it is a one-night stand, you don’t have to care. Just go in and get your needs met, right?
But at any other time, there is the worry. Does he like to be touched like this? Should I? Would he? And, my all time least favorite phrase “Come now!” Seriously guys – it doesn’t work like that. The whole orgasm on command thing? It takes training and trust. Just don’t do it. It will piss off your partner.
I do think, though, that sometimes we focus so much on the ‘what should I be doing’s that we miss out on all the fun. Maybe we should just get that spoon and dig in rather than thinking too hard about it. Or, even better, grab a bottle of Jif, some marshmallow creme, some Hershey’s chocolate sauce and a spoon and bring them to bed.
Oooh, now I’m thinking.